Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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