I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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