2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Randomize