Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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