How'd it feel making her break her religion?
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Randomize
