Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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