So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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