she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Randomize
