They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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