I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Randomize
