is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
home. puking in laundry basket.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
