Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
