He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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