the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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