u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
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Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
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I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
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I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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