The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Randomize
