an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
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