My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
