who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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