That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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