Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Use "feeling words"
Yay
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Randomize
