Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
