bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
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Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
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Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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