i just wanna soil my oats bro
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
