Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
