accomplished twins. life is a go
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
