Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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