hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.