I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.