jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
