his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
