Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Randomize
