we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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