But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
you win again, gameday.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
