Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Randomize
