There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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