I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I smell like Dick and happiness
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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