Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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