I've blown a few things in my day
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
can u get pink eye on your cock?
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
