Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
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