I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Randomize
