my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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