So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
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