I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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