he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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