it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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