Too much gin, very little bucket
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
