Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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