and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
soo... how was my night?
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