I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Sorry my hands just texted you
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Randomize
