That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
