yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize