she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
The power of my boobs compel you
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
