forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
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