What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
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