kristin has been a bad kristin
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
