You just made me feel so damn special
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
