and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
