i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
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