the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Randomize
