what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
You ate ashes out of my bong
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
