Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
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