I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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