Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
