Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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