When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
