Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I just pynch a tree in the face
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Randomize
